Really it’s just another day of the week today. What is Valentines Day anyway? Celebrate love with chocolate, flowers, and cards? No, love is so much more than that stuff. It isn’t all sweets and roses. Love is hard and it hurts. People say you can’t choose who you love and that it’s all a heart thing. I disagree. I know love is a choice. We either choose to love or not love. Now I don’t think it’s either love or hate, but it’s to love or not to love.
I mean someone comes up to you and proclaims, “I love you!” What happens? Either way you have to make a decision cyision. You might already know the person and have thought the same but never proclaimed it. At which point you would likely decide to really let yourself go to them and love them with everything because you now know it’s a returned love. Or perhaps you think, “Ew, gross. No way.” In which case you have already decided to not love them. The third choice is that either your had not thought about it yet or do not know them. In this case you will either decide you don’t want to love them or you will decide you can “give it a go.”
In that last scenario I would highly caution you no matter which decision is made. Love has a price that ultimately costs your life. It is something to not be taken lightly. If you choose to love the person your lives will never be the same again. If you choose to not love them and they really do love you their life will never be the same again.
Once you love someone, even if not romantically, they become a part of your story. Now I’m not talking about adolescent lusting after that hot guy or gorgeous girl. I’m talking about the people you truly love and let into your life.
Check out 1 Corinthians 13. It talks all about love and what it is and does. For example, love keeps no record of wrongs. The thing you have to realise is that it describes perfect love so really only God lives up to that standard. However, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to live up to that standard. Not living up to that standard is why love hurts so much. To really be able to not keep a record of wrongs is not an easy task. To always persevere is also not an easy task. Sometimes they just really irritate you and you want to shake them! What we need to remember is that it goes both ways. God expresses perfect love to us I mean he literally sacrificed his flesh and blood for us to have eternal life. So, what does that mean for us? It means we can’t say, “God, do you remember that time I didn’t covet my neighbour’s spouse? Can I have some grace and get away with wishing my own spouse was like them?” That’s just trading one wrong with another. Still not perfect love. It should be more like, “Hey God, you remember that time you helped me forgive my spouse for lusting after my neighbour’s spouse? Can you help me through this next battle because I can’t live with out you.”
I let myself romantically love someone once. Looking back it really was love because if it was just lust I would have let it go and moved on much quicker. But here I am 15 years later and it still hurts to think about that time in my life. I was of marrying age, we had similar backgrounds, he was a Christian, I was physically attracted to him, and his family had accepted me as one of their own. He had responded with, “Okay, let’s give it a go.” Then after a few months he must have decided either he didn’t love me or at least he didn’t want to keep loving me. Thankfully I am still on speaking terms with his family because they are one of my supporters and they are wonderful people. But I still feel awkward when around him or his now wife. I still love him it’s just as a sibling in Christ rather than romantically. But I am a different person because of him and that love. I approach romantic love much more hesitantly and perhaps that is playing it too safe, but I have saved much heartbreak for myself because of it. I’d like to have a romantic love for a man again someday, but it scares me just thinking about it.
Lord, I think you have some man you are preparing for me, but I don’t know who or where he is. Will you give us both the strength to respond in love when your time is right? I’m sorry if I’ve been too hesitant and wasted our potential time together. Please help him to be patient with me if I am not ready when he asks. Please help me be patient until you reveal him to me and help me be ready for his heart when he offers it. Help me understand that love crosses all barriers, but remind me so does lust. Give me the grace, wisdom, and knowledge to tell the difference.
Amen and amen
