A long time coming...

Okay, so this should have been written and posted months ago, but....

As most of you know I did not take the opportunity in Romania.  It was offered and I could possibly see myself returning to something with them sometime in the future.  There were two things holding me back... I really feel called to TEACH ELLs and the work in Romania would have been almost entirely office based.  To raise $10-15K is a lot of work in a short time and I was instead offered a position that pays me a living stipend.

Many of you do not know what I ended up doing instead.  In the short period between when I returned from the visit to Romania and when I had to give them an answer I was introduced to the idea of working as an AmeriCorps member.  The position is with the Literacy Center of West Michigan and I am an ELL instructor.

Two days a week I teach parents of the students at a local elementary school.  On our team we currently have five instructors and two support staff.  We want to grow our team because we have 8 schools we serve in.  We each have two classes that meet twice a week.  My classes meet Monday and Tuesday both in the morning and in the evening.  It makes for a very long start to the week, but then I can relax as the week progresses.

Due to the fact that this position is with AmeriCorps I have a number of benefits including an education award at the end of my term that will either be a large payment on my current loans or a large down payment on future schooling.  They also encourage professional development so I was able to attend two ESL conferences last weekend.  I learned a lot and did a lot of networking.

As a side opportunity to help supplement my income I have decided to return to being a Mary Kay consultant!  I love their products and have used them since I was 14 or 15 years old.  I have a very supportive team and they are encouraging me to do great things for myself and enriching the lives of others around me :)  If you are local you should save the date for November 5th as I will be debuting my career as a MK consultant at a women's Diva Night.  Connect with me if you want more information.

My days are filled to the max and I have been horrible at connecting with the outside world so I apologize if you feel neglected.

Crossroads

To say I am at a major crossroad in my life is putting it mildly.  It's more of a super fork in the road of my life.  I have five different options for what this fall could bring into my life.  None of them are easy.  I could see my self executing any of the paths.  I could see myself content in all of the paths.  This is what makes the decision SOOOO incredibly difficult.

In these next few weeks I will have some serious growing pains.  No matter which route I choose I want you to stand with me.  I need the support of my own community no matter where in the world I am.  Part of me, and I would consider it a large part, wants to just create a poll and let you all decide for me.  I know that is not the right way to do this.  I need to make this decision myself, but I feel as if I am in such a fragile state at the moment.

Sometimes it feels like we are at a dead end.  No doors, or even windows available.  Life suffocating us.  But today I stand here at this crossroad with many amazing options and no road map with a highlighted route.  This time in my life I'm not sure which is worse.  No options or too many options!

It's amazing how we can feel so certain about our future and then the Good and Gracious God we serve opens so many windows and doors.  I really hope this does not come across as complaint, because I am feeling very blessed in this moment.  I have options at a time when many people have nothing.  I have a community that will support me no matter my decision.  I have people that will miss me if I leave.  I have people who will welcome me with open arms if I come.

ABBA, Father, Daddy, Lord.... thank you, thank you, thank you!  I am overwhelmed to tears.  You have given me so much I am bursting at the seams.  I have been blessed beyond measure.  You are a provider like no other.  May I continue to follow your Word as it is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path (Psalm 119:105).  May I remain confident in you and have patience to wait upon you (Psalm 27).  No matter my decision may I take joy in your provisions and grace.  Blessed are you, oh Lord.  May we take great pride in having you as our eternal Father.  Hallelujah, amen and amen.

Friends and Family,  Will you please continue to ask our Gracious Father to give me great strength and discernment in the coming weeks as decisions are made.  The final path may not be decided until sometime in late August, but I will have to either choose or close some doors within the next three weeks.  I thank our God regularly for the great comfort he has given me in my community and that includes you.  So thank you and know you are appreciated!

A Whirlwind of New Adventures

So as expected it was a crazy 48 hours and then some... Long story short I was delayed a day, but that meant I had enough of a layover in Munich that I went into town.

This is my first time ever in Europe so I decided to live it up.  I took the commuter train into the city center. Had lunch off Marienplatz at the Ratskeller.  Toured the city on a two and a half hour open top double decker bus.  Fell asleep on part of that tour so I decided it was time to go back to the airport.

The inner courtyard at Marienplatz where I ate lunch.

The outside of the building on Marienplatz in which the Ratskeller is located.

At the airport I got to meet up with one of the Serge team with whom I've been communicating with recently.  We arrived safely, just a bit late, into Cluj.  We hit the sack finally at 2:00 am on Friday "morning".

Since then,  the group of 10 of us have been touring and getting to know each other.  There are lots of amazing things going on here and there is much potential for all of us to eventually join the Cluj team.  The coming weeks, months, and years will slowly reveal those plans to each of us.

I finally got to meet the gentleman I would be working with and we all took a tour of Ozd.  When we went to the rehab center in Ozd we also had part of another group from the UK join us on the bus ride.

The road started out paved, turned rough, then rougher, then eventually became a gravelly dirty pass.  It was great!

Just a sample of one of the rural villages in the Transylvanian countryside.  Ozd itself was much less populated even than this, I hope to add pictures from my camera later.

On Monday the rest of the visiting team will move on to their next site.  But I will travel back to Ozd to meet more of the people involved with that aspect of the ministry.  Tuesday I will spend time in the local office I would potentially be spending most of my time in.  Then I'll have three days to spend with the couple who began this team and whom would be my accountability and leadership while in country.

So far I'm encouraged, but I'm trying to patiently wait my turn. I want to respect the short time the rest of the visitors have to make sure their questions get answers, then I can have some more one on one time with my potential future teammates.

Perhaps I will have a few pictures of Cluj in the coming days.  In the mean time, if you could continue to commune with God about the following:
*Continued safety in travels
*Continued communication
*Deepening of relationships
*Understanding and discernment for all parties
*Also that I may be able to process quickly what I'm seeing and hearing so I may be able to ask the right questions and give honest answers when asked

On the Wings of Angels

The next 48 hours will feel forever long.  I praise God that I have made it thus far and I am ready to go (mostly).  My suitcase is packed.  My carry on sits open waiting for a few last minute items.  I have a meeting scheduled with my mentor for one last prayer and encouragement session before I depart.

19:43.  That is the scheduled departure time.

I will have a short flight to Chicago.  A really long overnight flight to Munich.  Followed by a decently long layover at which I hope I don't fall asleep and miss the last leg.  I will finally arrive at my destination at 00:30 Wednesday night/Thursday morning.

Things to pray for:
*Safety in travels/connections
*That all of us settle in well
*Clear communication both ways
*Discernment for all involved

Thank you so much and Lord willing in two weeks we will all know where I am heading in the fall!

What's Next?

In the past two weeks I have been so incredibly blessed!

I have known I was never alone in this process, but I have had so many people asking me about how things are working out that I'm overwhelmed by the support.  This is a huge thing for me.  It reminds me that I am loved and cared for by my family and community.  Thank you!  I appreciate you more than you will ever know.

Not much has changed in the past week.  I am comforted knowing there must be a reason for this experience and visit.  I am more than a little anxious to get to the other side to find out why.  I have been encouraged that a decision will be made with in a few days of my return from this vision trip.  So hopefully I will know what is happening by the middle of July.

My decision will be surrounded by conversations with God, hopefully on your part too;)  The following are the major things I will need to consider and determine if I can handle:
*How do I respond to the culture difference of here to there?
*Will my personality mesh well with the ministry partner I'd be assisting?
*Will my support/authority system there be strong enough to encourage AND discipline me?
*How should I handle my personal budget including student loans and emergency funds?

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I'm changing the subject for a bit because it's time.
So last night I realized I haven't really shared anything about Israel so here goes nothing...

What can I really say about Israel that can make sense?  It is such a small place with such a big impact.  I knew Israel was a small country, but I don't think I realized how small.  For a good representation in the US, think New Jersey.  They are about as close as you can get in size AND population.  Israel is about 8500 square miles with a population density of 1004 people per square mile.  New Jersey is about 8700 square miles with a population density of 1210 people per square mile.  About 6 hours and you can get from the northern most point to the southern most point.  At it's widest point it would only take about 2 hours to cover East to West.

In our Western mind set everything is big.  Bigger is better.  It has to be big to mean something.  We read the scriptures and think, "Feeding 5,000 on a mount, that must be a huge place."  Or what about that overflowing synagogue, it must have been thousands of people, how could they all hear him?

The reality is that on the mount people must have been practically sitting on each other, but the natural amphitheater shape of the area would have made his voice heard to another 5,000.  And that synagogue?  It was probably not much bigger than a basketball court, not the whole gym, just the court.

The terrain varies so much from the coastal plains where you have the Mediterranean Sea and sandy beaches, to the Sphelah (valley from North to South that was trade route/military strongholds), to the desert and finally the mountains.  So much in such a small space.  Some areas are so dry and parched you don't know if you will make it, then you round a corner and there are the flowing waters and greenery everywhere.

My favorite area was Galilee.  The Sea of Galilee (aka Kinneret) is so much smaller than Lake Michigan.  Standing on the shore you can see pretty much the entire thing.  We stayed in the northwest corner between Tiberius and Capernaum.  To go from one day standing on top of Mt. Arbel looking out over the land and the next be traveling among the Decapolis cities of the Golan Heights was amazing.  To think of the father from the story of the prodigal son standing on the shore looking out across the sea and have the Decapolis in sight, but yet it was a far country in culture so that he could not go seek out his son.  Heartbreaking.  Spending those days in those areas knowing that although it is no longer the same soil, it is definitely where Christ would have been for those three years of his public ministry.  Mind-blowing!

Clear As Mud

These last few weeks have continued to be a roller coaster of emotions.  I am still uncertain about the organization and will need to see a vast improvement in communication over the next month before I can confidently say I would be okay with working under them.

For those of you who know me well, you can understand my struggles in the financial aspect of this experience.  I am extremely thankful to my parents because without them I could not have made it through these past two years, well really any of life.  It was also because of a generous graduation gift from them that I was able to even purchase the flight.  We did not know of this particular expense at the time, but when I graduated they presented me with the gift saying, "This is so you can get a head start on what is next."  I have said all along that God will always provide when something is supposed to happen.

Last night my mom expressed that she feels responsible for what is happening right now because it was their gift that enabled me to take the next steps with this experience.  I hope I was able to encourage her that there is no fault in what they did and it was a wonderful gift.  I need to take full responsibility in not clarifying before taking the leap.

This is where I stand:

*I have been approved for the Vision Trip.

*They are willing to (at my cost) set up a support account.

*However, the account would be set up in a way that donor checks would be returned if the cost of the trip has already been met by the time they receive the check. ($2000)

*I am going for the Vision Trip in hopes of cleaning up the muddiness. (June 24-July 4)

*I have not decided about setting up the short term support account.

*If you would like to help in this first stage let me know.  If I get enough response then I will follow through and set it up so donations can be sent to the agency and made tax deductible.

*I appreciate the verbal and prayer support I have been receiving.  Unless you have been in a similar situation, you can not comprehend how much of a difference it makes.

I leave you with a prayer that God will continue to bless you to overflowing so that you may bless others!

Sincerely feeling blessed despite circumstances,

~Christine

All My Eggs

Okay, so we have all heard the phrases:
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket."
"Six to one.  Half dozen to the other."

I don't know where they came from and honestly that's not the point.  The point is that in this moment I am wishing I had paid attention to their wisdom.

I thought I was being patient.
I thought I wasn't putting all my eggs in one basket.
I thought I was following where I was being called.
There is still a chance these are true, but the last couple of days my spirits have been low because I am doubting these thoughts.

For the past four months I have been working through the process of application to a mission agency.  About a month ago I was given the impression that I was accepted and so I have begun to prepare myself and those around me for this major life change.  About a week ago I spent a large amount of my own money as an investment into the final step of the process of my decision to accept the call or not. (i.e. a plane ticket to meet the team and get to know the community)

In the days following that expenditure I was given information that indicated I am NOT officially accepted yet.  The emotions that followed were a roller coaster in range.  I am now more than a little uncertain about the agency and how it works.  I am asking that you help me in the coming weeks by praying through the following:

-communication to be clarified
-discernment on how to proceed if they do finalize the acceptance
-that I will not be depressed or downtrodden because of the cost if I am not accepted
-to be reminded God has always provided and will continue to provide for me no matter the situation
-for the situation to resolve in a way that is beneficial for all parties involved
-that I will recognize no matter where I put my "eggs" God is the one that holds all the baskets so it WILL be how he wants it to be, even if it's not how I expected

After council from my mentors as well as the outreach pastor from my church I am encouraged that no matter the outcome and/or my decision I will be supported.  This will not be an easy decision, but I pray God will open my eyes to see the path he is illuminating for me.

Thank you for following along with me on this journey.

A Long Story, Hopefully made Short

Okay, so I guess I should introduce you to what my opportunity is in the near future.

Right now, as many of you know, I am processing a lot of information from my recent visit to Israel.  In the coming weeks I might bring up a few discussions about things I learned and saw while I was there.  However, for right now I want to talk about Romania.

I think I first need to rewind to a year ago.  So I had just finished my semester at Grand Valley State University and was headed to spend the summer with my parents before my last year of undergraduate work which would be at Kuyper College.  One of my major goals for the summer was to find out what opportunities were out in the world for using my TESOL certificate and specifically to teach in the Philippines.

After a lot of information searching it was determined that I would need to wait until late February or early March before I could even apply for something professional.  It was crazy scary for me to think about going another year with out work.  Through much prayer and support from my family and friends I made the decision to put off looking for work until sometime in February.

I had the trip to Israel planned so I figured I wouldn't be starting a professional position until mid-May at the earliest anyway.  Plus what regular or entry level job will give you three weeks off after just starting.  It was a tough decision, but I felt comfortable with it.

Fast forward to February of this year.  I was looking at my financial situation and beginning to worry about how I would be rebuilding my savings to be able to start paying on student loans shortly after graduation.  Then on February 9th I got a message from one of my pastors.  One of our supported missionaries was looking to fill a need and he thought I might be interested.

Long story shortened a bit.... through much communication and a lot of uncertainty I am almost complete with a very long and complex application process to work with a missionary team in Cluj-Napoca, Romania.  The missionaries have said they like what they have read and heard from me and have extended the invitation for me to come for a visit to see if I feel like it would be a good fit.  The mission agency is working on the details of a job description and a budget.

This summer (June 24-July 4) I will go for a visit they are calling a "Vision Trip" and officially meet the team I would be working with.  At this point no final decisions have been made and no expectations are set.  It would be too easy to just say, Yes this is what is going to happen.  I have to have patience to wait out the next 5-6 weeks to see how God will lead both myself and the mission team in making this decision.

If things go well during my visit this is what my near future would look like:  find a job that I can be vague about how long I'm available, downsize my physical possession to be put up in storage somewhere, try to be able to afford a couple of visits to family, wait out my lease and fundraising time, then Lord willing I would leave for Cluj sometime in October and stay for about 9 months.

Just so you are aware, there is a possibility that if that 9 months goes extremely well and I feel called to commit to a longer time they would welcome that idea.  If that is the case I would come home for a time and begin raising more substantial support in the form of monthly givers rather than just one time donations.

Let's get started

So, as a kid I thought I wanted to be either an artist or a teacher.

Life tends to not turn out how we plan.

God, as the grand designer, knows what is best and he leads us in pathways we could never dream of in all our years.  Right now I am thinking of part of Psalm 119:

Your word is a lamp for my feet,
a light on my path.
I have taken an oath and confirmed it,
that I will follow your righteous laws.
I have suffered much;
preserve my life, Lord, according to your word.
Accept, Lord, the willing praise of my mouth,
and teach me your laws.
Though I constantly take my life in my hands,
I will not forget your law.
The wicked have set a snare for me,
but I have not strayed from your precepts.
Your statutes are my heritage forever;
they are the joy of my heart.
My heart is set on keeping your decrees
to the very end.

I am not a grand theologian.  I am not an eloquent speaker.  I am not very brave.  But...

I am a child of God.  I want to be obedient to his call.  I will be a light unto his world.  I hope to step into the chaos of this world and make it calm by the grace of MY GOD.

Please pray with me as I embark on this next phase and begin to seek out what a more intentional ministry using my gifts and abilities will look like.

Thank you Lord for the opportunities you are sending my way.  I ask that you continue to guide me as I make decisions about which path to take.  May your word be the lamp I use for my guide.
AMEN! Hallelujah!